It’s all very well being nice. Everyone loves a nice person. In fact, some of my good friends are very nice people. However, I’m not sure they’d make good business people. Whilst the meek may be set to inherit the earth, one does wonder if they’d be able to run their own company.
The business day can often be filled with meetings – whether in a boardroom, on the ‘phone or casually in a corridor. Do you always feel that meetings go well? How could you be more assertive?
Before meeting with any colleague, you need to be fully prepared, both mentally and physically. Have clear in your mind what you want to achieve from the conversation, and what it is that you want your colleague to do. Play out the conversation in your head, rehearsing a wide range of responses from your colleague so you feel prepared regardless of how s/he reacts or what s/he says. As importantly, decide how you want to appear physically and visualise yourself behaving in that way.
Don’t under-estimate the importance of this. If you fold your arms, look down and hunch your shoulders, you are destined to be ignored. You don’t need to have a towering presence. Many of life’s most powerful people are physically small.
You need to stand or sit confidently and upright. You need to look relaxed and comfortable and in control. Smile frequently and your whole demeanour should exude an attitude that assumes the person listening will be only too happy to accept your request.
When you speak, identify in simple language exactly what you need and why you need it. Be equally clear to express the timescales and any other pertinent instructions. Any ambiguity or circumnavigation will look weak and give people reason to ignore you.
Before your session, ensure you can demonstrate the link between your request and the benefit to the business. The stronger you can link your request to what the business needs, the easier it is for you to achieve what you want.
When you have finished describing what you need to your colleague, you should ask for confirmation that s/he understands what needs to be done and by when. S/he should also confirm that s/he commits to completing the request. By asking for this confirmation, you are demonstrating your confidence in yourself and, therefore, your assertiveness.
Similarly, when your colleagues return after a few days with the task completed, be sincere in your thanks (but not overly effusive). Praise them confidently and succinctly on a job well done. Psychologically, you are positioning yourself as their superior and laying the groundwork for being seen as assertive generally.
There’s no trick to becoming more assertive, it’s a simple case of putting into play a few techniques. And if you haven’t been assertive in your career so far, there’s no time to lose. Take heed from the words of novelist George Eliot, “it’s never too late to be who you might have been”. Go get ‘em!
Author: Heather Foley